Dolphins general manager Jeff Ireland addressed the press this morning, and the topic on the tip of everyone's tongues was the potential return of former 'Phins great Jason Taylor. Miami hasn't decided against re-signing the defensive end recently freed from the Redskins, but there are issues to consider, Ireland says, like age and health and whether he can play as well as he once did.
"[Taylor] is going to be 35 in September," Ireland noted, after rubbing his skin with pure retinol and placing a call to check on the future wife he's currently growing in a petri dish because "old people smell funny. Haven't you seen anyone over 29? They get all wrinkly and gross."
Okay, so the only thing Ireland really said was the first part about Taylor's age. But he did go on to say that the Dolphins will discuss concerns that a veteran [translation: "disgustingly-aged"] player would stunt the progress of younger ones who need experience.
"You never know what's fallen off a tree, and there is an acorn down there, and we're looking at it," Ireland said. "I'm not going to say we're not. But the level of interest I'm not going to comment on."
Wait - is Taylor the acorn and the Dolphins are the tree, or does he mean Taylor's abilities have fallen off and now he's just a shriveled tiny part of his old self, like a stooping octogenarian? If Taylor were a tree, would he be an oak or a palm? Can we climb him? Um, never mind. Whatever he meant, Ireland doesn't seem too high on straying from the rebuilding plan of amassing young talent with room to grow.
Players, however, are lobbying for Taylor's return. "It's not like we can't use the guy. We can definitely use him," said linebacker Joey Porter.
Taylor isn't ready to hang up his cleats yet, but it looks as if the only way he returns to the Dolphins is in a mentoring role to the younger players -- a role Taylor probably wouldn't take over the prospect of the likely fatter paycheck and marquee player status at New England.