The Good

Well, a win sure is nice, especially considering that the Dolphins have neither won in Buffalo nor won any season opener on the road since 2003. The fact that it was alarming on offense won't matter for a couple more bullet points.

Mike Nolan is a golden god, and his defense eats babies. And then makes more babies to an old R. Kelly album, and eats those, too. All you need to know can be summed up in a description of the third defensive play, a punishing sack on Trent Edwards: the line of scrimmage stacked until Chris Clemons pushed back at the snap, inside linebacker Karlos Dansby bolted untouched from the outside, around the edge and straight into Edwards' uterus.

Sure, the Dolphins didn't dance exotic on every play, but they can. And the defensive in all its forms held the Bills to just 166 total yards. Trent Edwards unwittingly helped, but it was a great start.

Kudos to Yeremiah Bell, too, and not just because we're scared he'll go Terry Tate on us otherwise.

The Bad

Brian Hartline dropped two passes at crucial moments and ended the game without a single reception.

Honestly, it feels like the Dolphins are doomed to some sort of pass-dropping groundhog day, in which catchable balls fall through hands in an endless recursive infinity soundtracked by the long, tortured wail of a people oppressed since Wes Welker was shipped off to Boston.

Or maybe he's just an Ohio State product.

The Ugly

Sorry, offense, but you're it. And by it, we mean, we don't know what you are. We can't tell. What is happening? What is this horrible check-down thing Chad Henne is doing? Why is there no running lanes? All the expensive parts are present on the line, but we feel like a petulant Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman: "It's broken. Mine's broken."

We except Brandon Marshall and Davone Bess, two little sparkling shining stars and the apples of our eye. But this ponderous, inefficient O is more manatee than Dolphin, and next week it will find itself in a shipping lane labeled "Minnesota."

As soon as the win wears off, we'll begin breathing into a paper bag.