Sparano's Plan For Starters: Get Fixed Or Tear An ACL Trying

Not quite in those words, but that's the gist of Angry Dad's message

So far, the fast-start message Tony Sparano has been preaching all camp long seems to have lodged with only receiver Greg Camarillo -- the hero of 2008 caught four balls for 47 yards in the third pre-season game last week.

Unfortunately, he was traded a few days beforehand, and those passes belonged to Brett Favre.

His former teammates were not so hot, according to anyone who watched them and the large bull they poked with their sub-par performance.

"We stunk the other night,'' Tony Sparano said. "I mean, can I be any clearer with that? We were not good the other night against Atlanta. I didn't like any of it.''

Sparano is so furious that in the traditionally powder puff fourth pre-season game, which sees starters as often as Heidi Montag solves equations, he is going to make his starters play until they cleanse his palate.

Or maybe puke. Or possibly die. Whatever his measure is, he's going to see it met.

"I have no real governor right now on how long guys will be playing. I just know they better be ready to play...We're going to go out there and we're going to play until either I'm satisfied with what I've seen or I feel like we've gotten the amount of work that I have scheduled.

"I just want to see them play until I'm satisfied with how they play."

Conventional wisdom generally says starters should never play the fourth game, lest they be injured in something so meaningless mere days before the start of the regular season.

Conventional wisdom is right, but it never gets to enjoy Tony Sparano doing his best Angry Dad.

And really, this is the Dolphins. Every day the team bus doesn't find a cliff to fall from is a good day. These guys go down left and right regardless, usually 2-3 days after signing a contract. And then they don't heal until they reach someone else's roster. 

Buffalo is 12 days away, and playing starters is risky. But a loss to Chan Gailey must be avoided at all costs. 

Janie Campbell is a Florida native who believes in the pro-set and ballpark hot dogs. Her work has appeared in irreverent sports sites around the internet.

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