Blame the Super Bowl Shuffle. The 1985 pop culture phenomenon gave more than a few NFL teams the misguided idea that handing a keytar over to an offensive lineman woud end well.
Naturally, a flashy city like Miami would not be outdone by the Bears, or any of the other ensuing horrors (we've personally had the Bengals' "Who Dey? Song" stuck in our head on and off since first hearing it in 1989).
So in 1991, under the name "Corey and the Fins," the Dolphins released their own unintentionally hilarious rap song. They surely meant the video to drum up interest and then mercifully be lost forever or interred in a time capsule.
They probably didn't plan on YouTube.
But the Internet never forgets, and now Dolphin fans don't have to, either.
Look! David Griggs had a cell phone the size of a shoe box! The radio station used tapes! You can actually see the dignity of every man who put on those hideous zebra-striped Zubas pants evaporating into the South Florida sky!
There's so much to love here. The venerable "Corey" is wearing a jacket, bowtie, and no shirt, and is that...? Yep. It's a random Hooters waitress riding an escalator.
Oh, Dolphins. Fans suffering through the long post-draft off-season thank you, well, for being you.
But we don't suggest a return to the studio to record a follow-up.