When the Almighty Tebow calls them home to heaven, Gators fans will have a place of final rest that allows them to be crazy forever -- not just during football season.
The Florida Senate has unanimously passed a bill allowing the University of Florida to erect an on-campus columbarium to hold the ashes of its faithful -- possibly even at Ben Hill Griffin Stadium. While the exception to the rule that new cemetaries must be 30 acres or more applies to all state universities, it was UF who authored the bill and pushed it through both state houses, and who will likely now move forward with burying their own fans.
Hurricanes supporters might note an eternity is how long it took the Gators to get their first national championship, or offer to help fans in Gainesville reach their final resting place sooner rather than later.
"I can't tell you how many people call," said UF's alumni association's Katie Marquis. "We feel like it would be meeting a need."
The bill requires that UF "ensure that [the columbarium] is constructed, kept, and maintained in a manner consistent with the intent of specified provisions." Considering it's die-hard fans who want to spend forever near the 50-yard line, we're guessing that the vomit of over-eager freshmen, premature plaquage, and orange and blue panties strewn all over the memorial just might provide a little more desireable flavor than the green grass and stately oak trees of most standard graveyards.
First to call in and reserve a space in the (ahem) wake of the news: the ashes of Steve Spurrier's post-Gators career.
Janie Campbell knows even such a grave cannot hold Tim Tebow for more than three days. Her work has appeared in irreverent sports sites around the Internet.