Marlins at 20: The Good, Bad, and The Ugly

Oh, those wacky Marlins: when they're good, they're very good, and when they're bad they're hilarious.

It's way too early to get a real bead on how the Marlins will end the season, even though we'd like to. Pretty much the only observers who predicted they'll finish higher than third (besides us) are the kids at the student newspaper of Swarthmore College; the Boston Globe’s Tony Massarotti said the Fish are a .500 team at best.

But so far the Marlins 11-9, which puts them on pace for an 88-win season. Not too shabby, especially considering few of them have even hit their stride yet.

Stil, there's a kajillion games to go and a million ways to mess it all up. So rather than jinx it, let's just take stock of the good, bad, and ugly, twenty games in.

Five Good Things:

1. Real-life Bunting Joke From The Onion Emilio Bonifacio was sent down. Better 13 months late than never.

2. After a slow spring, Josh Johnson may have got his groove back. Against San Diego Monday night, JJ struck out 12 (a personal best), gave up only 3 hits (a personal best), and drove in 3 runs (tying his personal best) in a dominating performance. "I don't usually tweet anything about baseball," wrote an awed John Baker, "but Josh Johnson is a stud."

3. UMiami alum Gaby Sanchez is among the top rookies in baseball so far this season.

4. His name is still Dan Uggla, and we still have Jorge Cantu. Cantu was working a 21-game hitting streak until Saturday, and Uggla, who is now just shy of Derreck Lee for third-most homers in team history, is keeping things unseasonably warm until Hanley heats up.

5. Pitching prospect Curt Peterson saved a woman from being robbed in a Wal-Mart parking lot in North Carolina. “I just went to the Walmart for toilet paper, and then all this happens.” 

Five Bad Things:

1. Let'sch play bawl itsch game dayyyyyy-ah!

2. "A day off will probably be good for us." -- an unnamed player, following the first game of the season.

3. Attendance. In related news, grass is green.

4. Returning Rookie of the Year Chris Coghlan is slumping hard at the plate, with an improved batting average of .157 (it was .109 last week). He is being made to ride in the back of taxis next to the jumper cables as punishment.

(To be fair, he's made some unbelievable defensive plays, something all too rare for the Fish.)

5. The Teal Monster league scoreboard in the outfield is no more, because -- and we aren't kidding -- light bulbs are expensive.

Team president David Samson offered a helpful "Every fan has a handheld device with Internet accessibility," which is 1) not true, and 2) just short of "Let them eat cake."

One Thing So Ugly It Equals Five Bad Things: 

1. Cameron Maybin's at-bat song is Miley Cyrus' "Party in the USA."

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