Marlins Want TV To Do Their Dirty Work

Where does the ballpark rank on a scale that includes "de-pooping worms"?

The Marlins are known for being miserly, employing fat, hairy dancers, and making rare playoffs appearances. You can now add "dainty" to the list.

Worm Poop: A Real Dirty Job

Seems no one's thrilled about having to hook up sewer pipes, based on this plea to the television show "Dirty Jobs," for which the game yet unfortunate host Mike Rowe goes traipsing about the country plunging into plumbling, wrangling snakes, sexing chickens, testing shark suits, and doing all the grossest, most horrifying things people are paid to do.

Good Morning DJ Crew,

I work at the construction site for the Florida Marlins New Ballpark, and yesterday I was walking around the site and saw 3 divers in the whitest water you have ever seen, and they were guiding storm sewer pipes in the ground.

I thought this would be a great thing for Mike to do. Plus we would let you get to see all of the construction site and maybe get you to a game, during the season. I hope this can work out.

Karl Ebert
Marlins Ballpark Development Coordinator

Of course, this immediately begs the question, who spells Carl with a k? And then: what's so gross about white water? Brown, it seems, would be the worst water in which to be installing sewer pipes, so clearly the Marlins construction -- er, "ballpark development" -- team is pansier than previously thought. Does this even rate on a scale that includes "de-pooping worms?"

But it did get us thinking. This doesn't even sound like the dirtiest job in the Marlins organization; that belongs to whatever poor soul is tasked with telling good players they don't fit in the lowest payroll in baseball. And in larger Miami sports, installing a sewer pipe might not even be as bad as cleaning up the blood that trails the be-sticked whirling dervish Keith Ballard. And we can only imagine what the Dolphins' showers are like. Shudder!

No matter who's doing the dirty work, you can get updates on construction progress at

Janie Campbell is naseous thinking about sewer pipes in water of any color. Her work has appeared in irreverent sports sites around the Internet.

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