Miami’s Ugliest Athletes

Pity the poor homely athlete, who must make do on million-dollar contracts alone because no one wants his mug on their box of Wheaties. Inspired by an article in Men's Journal, we take a look at some of Miami's lesser-blessed genetic specimens.

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Pity the poor homely athlete, who must make do on million-dollar contracts alone because no one wants his mug on their box of Wheaties. Inspired by an article in Men's Journal, we take a look at some of Miami's lesser-blessed genetic specimens. Like this one. Why long face? Matt Roth was part of the Dolphins' horrible 2007 season; it must have frozen that way.
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Marlins pitcher Tim Wood isn't technically unattractive, it's just that his serial killer stare and thin frown will frighten children on a bright sunny day.
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When his NFL career is over, Anthony Fasano could star as Shrek on Broadway.
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When they picked up Karlis Skrastins, the Panthers didn't just get a defensiveman--they got a centaur with split ends.
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When gazing at Paul Soliai, we remember what our mothers always said: "If you can't say anything nice about anyone, move on from the topic of his unsettling chin hair."
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Leo Nunez is what happens when baby birds mate with Q-Tips.
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Dan Carpenter would be much better looking if he hadn't stolen Jim Carrey's hair from "Dumb and Dumber."
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Craig Anderson has a baby face. No, like he went and transplanted a baby's face on a man's body. Imagine that thing in a bonnet.
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