In Chicago, Cubs-Sox divides everyone. What are you? A Cubs fan? Well then you're surely a dilettante, a frat guy, a partier who doesn't care about the baseball, a Midwestern kid brainwashed by WGN in your childhood, a yuppie, or a delusional old-timer too silly to see the Cubs will never win, because the Cubs suck. Or how about you? A White Sox fan? Well then you're a South Sider, blue collar, low class, jealous of the Cubs' popularity and strangely infatuated with the Cubs' failures. You suck. No, you suck.
You see how dumb this stuff gets?
Which is where twin children -- and YouTube, mother of all that is good on the Internet -- come in. All it takes to remind us how silly the whole thing is is to watch two little girls argue about the Cubs and Sox using methods only slightly less eloquent than your own:
There is great metaphorical power in this video. No matter what we may say, our arguments essentially boil down to "Cubs suck. No, White Sox suck." It's good to see these girls get past this so early in life. There's hope for them -- and us, we hope -- yet.
Eamonn Brennan is a Chicago-based writer, editor and blogger. You can also read him at Yahoo! Sports, Mouthpiece Sports Blog, and Inside The Hall, or at his personal site, eamonnbrennan.com. Follow him on Twitter.