Howard Schultz could be described as a little confused.
The 69-year-old Pompano Beach man was arrested Monday for allegedly telling a motorist he was a cop and forcing the driver to pull over - with a barbecue fork.
The weird incident happened near the Walgreens on Southeast 11th Avenue.
When Broward Sheriffs Office deputies arrived, they found Schultz in the middle of the street waving his cooking utensil as cars passed by.
Amazingly, Schultz was able to convince one motorist that he was actually a cop and that it was in his best interest to pull over.
Pointing a 10-inch mini pitch fork at a person might be persuasive, but cooking tools aren't usually a cop's weapon of choice.
"You need to pull over. I'm a police officer," Schultz told the man, who told detectives he was scared for his life, according to the arrest report.
The affidavit doesn't say if Schultz issued the motorist a ticket or some other citation for being foolish enough to stop for him.
Deputies ordered Schultz to surrender his "weapon" and put him in handcuffs.
He was charged with aggravated battery and impersonating - horribly - a law enforcement officer.