Porn-Tastic

Naked ladies, sex toys and dirty movies at Exxxotica. Sounds like a typical weekend on the Beach if you ask us

When you were a kid, you stashed your Playboys under your mattress and tried to watch naked ladies through the squiggly lines on the scrambled Cinemax in the living room after your parents went to bed.

You’re all grown up now. There’s no need to keep your porn preference a secret any longer. Feel free to embrace your love of erotica when Exxxotica Miami Beach spreads ‘em for the porn loving masses of Miami May 8 through 10.

Dubbed the “largest adult event on the East Coast,” the convention features sex toys, porn collections that make yours seem puny, a Bang Bus show, Exxxotica Sinema and a Ms. Exxxotica Pageant. We expect the competition to be fierce and the audience to be stiff for that last one.

Want to know if your favorite porn star likes long walks on the beach and kittens? This is your shot to ask, as the show offers up adult entertainers like Savanna Samson, Jesse Jane, Sasha Grey and a bevy of other “actresses” for you to drool over—just not on. No bodily fluids on the girls, guys.

Ron Jeremy will also be there. And we’re sure he’d love to answer your question. You know, the one you’ve always wanted to ask him—yeah, that one.

This year the show gets a little extra action on the side with Vivid Video celebrating its 25 anniversary at Karu and Y on May 9. Look for video vixens Hanna Hilton, Nikki Hayne, Meggan Mallone and Samson to work the party to full climax.

And no, you can’t take any of them home with you. Your mom would flip if she found one of them crammed under your mattress.

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