BOATS AND HOS: Too bad school is still open for our founder's day. But there's no reason not to celebrate beforehand, say, Saturday? If you're feeling particularly grateful for Columbus' discovery, or just want to party, head down to the Columbus Day Regatta at the Coral Reef Yacht Club in Coconut Grove. There will even be an actual boat race at 10 a.m. Boy, would we make Will Ferrell and John Reilly proud. 10 A.M.
COVERED UP: We know Miami New Times' covers always seem to shock you, and deep down inside, you've always applauded them. Why not help them ring in 22 years of scandalous, make-a-huge-statement cover art the way only the New Times knows how? Join them as they exhibit their most riveting and scandalous covers yet. It'll be held at Miami Art Space in the Design District in the spirit of an open bar cocktail party. 7-10 P.M.
WHAM BAM: Need I finish the phrase? That's how it'll feel when you go see the TM Sisters in the last night of their groundbreaking performance, "WHIRL CRASH GO!" It's a crazy show combining video, lights, music, roller-skating and synchronized swimming (yes, synchronized swimming), ringing true of Miami's fast-paced, vivid spirit. 8 P.M.