LAUGH IN: She saw dead people, was a singing nun, and now shares her opinion with soccer moms across the country. Whoopi Goldberg will be at Books and Books in Coral Gables signing autographs as she promotes her latest books, Is it Just Me? and the newest in her children's series, Sugar Plum Ballerinas: Terrible Terrel. Then, she'll head to the Arsht Center to attempt to split your sides. 4:30 & 8 P.M.
BACK IN BLACK: Everyone loves to hate Brooklyn, what with their urban organic llama farms and speakeasies run by semi-famous indie rock bass players. But we also love to love the place, for bringing us musicians like Small Black. Acousmatic pop is how he describes his sound, but don't take our word for it. Hear for yourself tonight at Bardot, where he'll be performing. 8 P.M.
CABARET COOL: We're really not fans of live music while we eat -- sorry, mariachi band. But Cha Cha Rooster's new cabaret series featuring Kimona singing jazz ballads just might change our mind. The restaurant is housed in SoBe's new gay hotel Lords South Beach, and we all know the gays can sing a good show tune. A $30 prix fixe menu is available with RSVP. 8:30 & 10 P.M.
We wanna text you up! Know where to sip and be seen every night of the week by texting MIATONIGHT to 639710.