DIRTY JERSEY: We're not sure about you, but we can't go anywhere without referencing something in our daily lives to MTV's "Jersey Shore." If it's from calling all short people in your life "Snooki," making sure your night out is or isn't a situation or making the life or death choice if Pauly D or Vinnie is more your style. Well, we have the best news ever. Our new obsession JWOWW aka Jenni Farley and Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino will be at Mansion tonight. Not only can we almost promise that there will be very little clothing and tons of guidos, but you're going to need to perfect your fist pumping skills or you will most definitely not fit in. 11 PM.
LIV IT UP: Orange/tanned guidos not your style? Well, first off, that is very strange. On another note, you're in luck. If you're still looking to go out and get crazy tonight, but know that a night with the "Jersey Shore" kids isn't you, then head over to LIV. If you look back at the '90s and think to yourself, "2 Live Crew had a large part in being the bad a** adult I am now," then we have good news. Uncle Luke aka Luther Campbell will be the main event at the popular Dirty Hairy party tonight and there's no doubt that stuff is going to get messy. I mean this is a man from Miami who taught us to not stand down to politicians and to maybe use a little profanity doing so. Many also remember his teaching that it was OK to "pop that ...", well you know the drill. 10 PM.
HIGH HAPPY HOUR: Ever thought of getting a little tipsy 50 floors above the ground? Well then, we have the ultimate place for you. For those of you who would like to keep it classy and stay away from the events list above, head over to Club 50 at the Viceroy. Their new Happy Hour and Jazz Night is now every Wednesday and for a $20 flat fee, you're treated with wine and cheese tastings. If the wine gets you in the mood to dance, then all you have to do is wait 'til later, when the punk and new wave hits start playing. You might never want to party on the ground level ever again. 6 PM.