ONE FUNNY GAL: The days of lady comedians being dressed like lumberjacks and just trying to make it in the man's world of comedy are over. All us funny gals have one woman to thank: Chelsea Handler. The beautiful blond is a New York Times best selling author for the the 3rd time around with her newest laugh-out-loud book, Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang. The star of her hit show late night show, Chelsea Lately, will be invading Miami today in a big way. You can catch the funny girl at Books and Books in Coral Gables at 3 P.M. and again tonight at the Filmore Miami Beach. Want to make some points with the comedian? Be drunk. The vodka-loving lady wouldn't want it any other way. 8 P.M.
LET'S GROOVE: With Winter Music Conference in full swing, there are so many parties, so little time. One we think might make you happy is the Pirate Stereo EP Release Party. For the first time ever, Pirate Stereo, critically acclaimed DJ duo, will be hosting their official album release party in Downtown Miami. From what we're hearing, no details were spared in securing a very special space for this festive occasion. So go on kids, lets groove. 10 P.M.
DANCING QUEEN: There is a lot of craziness going on in our city right now: The spring breaker population is multiplying like bunnies and now that Ultra starts today, the madness is about explode. If all of that sounds like a nightmare, we can imagine you roll with a much more sophisticated bunch. We encourage you and your fancy crew to head out to the Joffrey Ballet tonight at the Arsht Center. We will get to see the company produce both classical and modern ballet tonight and tomorrow in their highly acclaimed show, "Age Of Innocence," inspired by one of the strongest woman in history, Jane Austen. If that doesn't inspire you to get your butt to the ballet, does sexy men in tights? We thought so. 8 P.M.