"Miami Medical," the new CBS drama that premiers tonight, is based on Jackson's Ryder Trauma Center. To our dismay, the first episode isn't about a python attack victim dying on the table due to major budget cuts. If it were truly based on RTC, there wouldn't even be a cast. Zing!
But what the show and its inspiration do have in common is their dyer need for CPR.
"Miami Medical," which, a-la "CSI: Miami," isn't really shot here, is making TV critics everywhere throw up in their mouth a little bit with their nauseatingly stereotyped characters, overdramatic dialogue and ridiculous plot lines.
"'Miami Medical' is just one more frenetic mess of doctors, panic and swooshing-whooshing-slicey-dicey stuff," the Washington Post's Hank Stuever ripped. "From aerial shots to scalpels to bleating EKG monitors. Attractive doctors provide urgent trauma care to really, really injured tan people in sunny, sunny Florida."
Indeed, the first episode involves an attractive couple on vacation when a yogurt craving turns into carnage. But they have nothing to worry about, as the crackerjack Benetton ad medical team is ready to save some lives.
USA Today's Robert Bianco describes them as "a group of Miami trauma surgeons who are described to us, in cringe-inducing terms, as the 'rock stars of medicine.' They treat only patients whose injuries are so severe, they're facing their last "golden hour" of life - a premise poor Omar Gooding, who plays Nurse Tuck Brody, is forced to spell out in ridiculously explicit terms once every 10 minutes or so.
"Yes, CBS, it's Friday, and we're all exhausted. But we're not brain-dead."
Of course, who would expect anything but silly, exaggerated drama from producer Jerry Bruckheimer ("Bad Boys," "The Rock," "National Treasure")?
"I need a gurney! Stat! Get the paddles! Clear! Intubate! Extubate! Sit down! Stand up! Stand on your head! For long stretches, the script for CBS's 'Miami Medical' plays out like a string of urgent commands, as a team of emergency surgeons circle around their bleeding, writhing patients," writes Matthew Gilbert of the Boston Globe. "It can be wearing, watching this new hospital drama, just as it would be if I ended every sentence with an exclamation point! Which I won't do! Promise!"
Instead of carbon copying a medical wasted bin full of hospital-set dramas, we think MM should have gone for the cheeky "surgeons in the sun" angle. What's the point of having it set in Miami if you can't have a studly high-end real estate agent rushed into surgery with a stab wound courtesy of a stiletto-weilding porn star?
Oh well, we'll just stick to "Nip/Tuck."