5 Things to Remember When Talking With Your Family After Tragedy
No matter how you deal with tragedy, it is important to take care of yourself
By Colleen Knudsen ••
Feeling overwhelmed, powerless or angry as you watch news of another mass shooting, this one in Las Vegas? Those feelings are normal, even for people who don't have ties to Nevada or anyone there, according to counselors.
There are tools that can help in handling those emotional reactions. NBC10 Philadelphia's Tracy Davidson spoke to a counselor in the area Monday about what you and those you love can do.
Q: I feel overwhelmed by the news. How do I process this? A: Each person's reaction to a tragedy is unique to that individual and that's OK, said Dana Careless, a counselor from the Philadelphia Department of Behavioral Health and Intellectual disAbility Services.
Some people disconnect and shut off communication while others are active on social media, looking for answers and trying to stay informed. No matter how you deal with tragedy, it is important to take care of yourself. If you start to feel overwhelmed, "take a step back, take a deep breath, and disconnect if you need to," Careless said.
Q: What things can I do to take care of myself? A: Self-care is doubly important while we try to cope with trauma. Do what makes you happy or calms you down. Careless runs; some people choose yoga or swimming. Others need quiet time meditating, praying or listening to music. Careless said journaling can help some people.
Q: What should I do if I start to feel overwhelmed? A: "It can be really, really easy to get caught up in all the information, to keep clicking and clicking," Careless said. She suggested people focus on staying grounded. Using your five senses can help you settle into the moment, she said; wherever you are, find five things you see, four things you hear, three things you touch, two things you smell and one thing you taste. Remember to take your time and breathe — in through your nose, out through your mouth, she said.
Q: What if my children ask me about the event? A: Careless suggested parents be open with children, if children want to talk. Don't shut down conversation or tell them to "get over it," she said. Try to normalize the discussion and reiterate to them that it is okay to be upset or confused by the tragedy. On the other hand, if they don't want to talk, give them some space until they feel like engaging. If your children seem to be struggling more than usual, consider reaching out for help or following up on their condition.
David Becker/Getty
Signs and candles are displayed at a makeshift memorial set up across from the Las Vegas Village on Oct. 4, 2017 in Las Vegas, Nevada.
White House Photo by Shealah Craighead
President Donald Trump and first lady Melania Trump visit with survivor Natalie Vanderstay of Santa Clara, Calif., Wednesday, Oct. 4, 2017, at the University Medical Center of Southern Nevada.
White House Photo by Shealah Craighead
President Donald Trump and first lady Melania Trump visit with survivor Tiffany Huizar of Santa Anna, Calif., Wednesday, Oct. 4, 2017, at the University Medical Center of Southern Nevada.
White House Photo by Shealah Craighead
President Donald Trump and first lady Melania Trump visit with survivor Danae Gibbs of Cedar Park, Texas, and members of her family, Wednesday, Oct. 4, 2017, at the University Medical Center of Southern Nevada.
Evan Vucci/AP
President Donald Trump listens to Clark County Sheriff Joseph Lombardo during a meeting with first responders at the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department, Wednesday, Oct. 4, 2017, in Las Vegas.
David Becker/Getty
Signs and candles are displayed at a makeshift memorial set up across from the Las Vegas Village on Oct. 4, 2017, in Las Vegas, Nevada.
AP Photo/Anita Snow
Brandon Clack, a 21-year-old college student from La Palma, California, and his girlfriend Leslie Reynoso, 21, also of La Palma, describe the scene of a shooting the night before that killed dozens of concertgoers on Monday, Oct. 2, 2017. Clack said he later learned that a young man in a group of about 30 people who traveled together from Orange County perished in the shooting.
Getty Images
Mourners attend a candlelight vigil at the corner of Sahara Avenue and Las Vegas Boulevard for the victims of Sunday night's mass shooting.
Robyn Beck/AFP/Getty Images
Edrian Pateno, of Corona, California, lights candles at a makeshift memorial near the Mandalay Hotel on the Las Vegas Strip, in Las Vegas, Nevada, on Oct. 3, 2017.
Denise Truscello/Getty Images
Celine Dion pledges proceeds from the show at the Colosseum in Caesars Palace to the victims' families of the Route 91 Harvest Festival shooting on Oct. 3, 2017, in Las Vegas, Nevada.
AP Photo/J. David Ake
A visitor to the National Mall at daybreak in Washington, Tuesday, Oct. 3, 2017, walks past flags lowered to half-staff in honor of the victims killed in the Las Vegas shooting.
Manuel Balce Ceneta/AP
The U.S. Capitol dome backdrops flags at half-staff in honor of the victims killed in the Las Vegas shooting as the sun rises on Tuesday, Oct. 3, 2017, at the foot of the Washington Monument on the National Mall in Washington.
AP Photo/Ariel Schalit
Tel Aviv's municipality building is lit with the colors of the American flag in solidarity with victims of Las Vegas shooting in Tel Aviv, Israel, Monday, Oct. 2, 2017.
AP Photo/Kathy Willens
The Empire State Building lights, normally lit in colors, were dimmed, Monday, Oct. 2, 2017, in sympathy for the victims and others affected of the mass shooting in Las Vegas.
Denise Truscello/Getty Images
Hundreds of people gather for a vigil on the Las Vegas strip for the victims of the Route 91 Harvest Festival shooting on Oct. 2, 2017, in Las Vegas, Nevada. Lone gunman Stephan Paddock, 64, of Mesquite, Nevada, opened fire on festival attendees leaving dozens dead and hundreds injured.
AP Photo/Gregory Bull
Students from University of Nevada Las Vegas hold a vigil Monday, Oct. 2, 2017, in Las Vegas.
AP Photo/Gregory Bull
Students from University of Nevada Las Vegas hold a vigil Monday, Oct. 2, 2017, in Las Vegas.
Drew Angerer/Getty Images
Mourners attend a candlelight vigil at the corner of Sahara Avenue and Las Vegas Boulevard for the victims of Sunday night's mass shooting, Oct. 2, 2017, in Las Vegas, Nevada.
AP Photo/Gregory Bull
Rosa and Alan Duarte become emotional during a vigil at City Hall in Las Vegas, Monday, Oct. 2, 2017. The vigil was held in honor of the over 50 people killed and hundreds injured in a mass shooting at an outdoor music concert late Sunday.
AP Photo/Anita Snow
James Cabrera sits at a slot machine in the Mandalay Bay hotel in Las Vegas, Nevada, Monday, Oct 2, 2017. Cabrera and his wife, Sonia Pena, drove to Las Vegas from La Habra, California, overnight after their 21-year-old daughter Jessica called them from the music festival. Jessica yelled, "They're shooting at us. People are falling, I love you!," Cabrera recalled. Later they learned their daughter escaped unharmed and hid in a bathroom overnight at the MGM hotel until morning.
Robyn Beck /AFP/Getty Images
People attend a candlelight vigil at Las Vegas City Hall Oct. 2, 2017, after a gunman killed dozens of people and wounded hundreds others when he opened fire on a country music concert in Las Vegas, Nevada late Oct. 1, 2017.
Robyn Beck/AFP/Getty Images
Nine-year-old Alexander Wells is hugged by his grandmother at a candlelight vigil at Las Vegas City Hall Oct. 2, 2017. Alexander had friends who were injured in another shooting recently and insisted on attending this vigil, according to his family.
AP Photo/Charlie Riedel
A fan holds a "Praying for Vegas" sign before the first half of an NFL football game between the Kansas City Chiefs and the Washington Redskins, in Kansas City, Missouri, Monday, Oct. 2, 2017.
Q: How long will it take to heal and move on? A: Every person’s process is different. The way you begin to heal is individual, so do what is necessary to help start the process. If you or a loved one start to have irregular habits, such as lack of sleep or oversleeping, that continue past two weeks, consider talking to someone who can help.
The federal government's mental health agency, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, has a 24-hour Disaster Relief Helpline. If you would like free support or counseling, contact them at 1-800-985-5990 or text “TalkWithUs’ to 66746.
