You Think You Know (A Parcells Draft)…But You Have No Idea

Does this work in reverse? Like, if we stop talking about the Earl Bryant possibility, it becomes more possible?

Three weeks to go. And let one thing be made clear: no one, not anyone who covers the team, no ESPN talking heads, not even that one homeless guy, knows any more about the Dolphins' draft plans than they did, well, ever.

This despite weeks of Pro Days, interviews, physicals, visits, and a bout or two with free agency. How can it be? Bill Parcells is a steel trap, and he'd sooner cut off his own hand than let one of his staff give a fair hint about the team's plans. He's a bank vault, a clam, an unbreakable fortune cookie stored in a lock box. Whatever you've heard, you know nothing.

Of course, this benefits the team, so we're wholly behind it. It just makes for a long and pointless offseason, where we all sit around dissecting players and making predictions that ultimately mean nothing in the context of surprising draft day. It's like Christmas, if Christmas featured a hall of mirrors and Santa springing at you through one of a number of trap doors.

“The Dolphins are the toughest to read right now,” one scout told the Palm Beach Post's Edgar Thompson. “They could go in six different directions.”

In other words, they're Parcellsian, and have a lot of needs. Again.

Last year, nearly every expert concluded that Vontae Davis' work ethic/authority issues meant the Tuna wouldn't draft him in a million years. He was the team's first pick at no. 25.

Phinsider had guessed Connecticut's Darius Butler, as had we. Wrong, though at least we got the position right.

Fanhouse just knew it'd be receiver Hakeem Nicks.

ESPN's Mel Kiper said it'd be Malcom Jenkins, Sports Ilustrated's Don Banks said Kenny Britt, CBS's Pete Prisco suggested Larry English, and the Herald's Armando Salguero gave the nod to Rey Maualuga.

Whoops! And no one, no one, saw Pat White coming, especially not in the second round. If If they say so, they're lying. 

So, yeah. Everyone's abuzz about Earl Thomas and Brandon Graham and Dez Bryant and Rolando McClain and C.J. Spiller. All intriguing -- but the fact that their names are out there all but assures there's not a chance in hell they'll end up Dolphins. We might as well take up the Marlins until draft day and let the mysterious magic do as it will.

Or on second thought, maybe knitting. 

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