Man Reunited With His Monkey

Peaches and Herb would no doubt be thrilled at the news this morning that a missing black-tufted marmoset (or, as we call it in English, "a monkey") was returned to its owner in Hollywood late Friday night after a daring rescue by the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission.

Okay, we made up the "daring" part. Details of the rescue weren't immediately available, and when life presents a monkey rescue story it's just more fun to imagine the captive in a tiny dungeon in little tattered pants being plucked from the clutches of evil at the last possible second. Monkeys in clothes are just so cute!

But pet Simon's escape was no laughing matter to owner Daniel Alamary, 25, who said his lil' rascal disappeared on Wednesday while Alamary was moving from Hollywood to Fort Lauderdale. Alamary was canvassing the neighborhood Thursday when an employee at North Lake Retirement Home told him that Simon had been spotted in the building. However, while Simon was entertaining residents, a visitor had expressed his intention to trap Simon and sell him.

Dun dun dun!

The trail led to the trapper, who had indeed caught Simon and sold him to someone in Pembroke Pines. "The officers basically told him he'd be in a lot of trouble if he didn't say how he got that monkey," Alamary reported, "so he just told them everything."

Perhaps he wanted kudos for being the one South Floridian not to automatically release an exotic pet into the Everglades.

"Right now, I'm just happy [Simon]'s back uninjured, though he is a little rattled," Alamary said. 

Our suggestion for monkey nerves: buy him a sophisticated little tux. They say if you dress the part...well, you know.

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