Impending free agent forward Chris Bosh has been breaking up with the Raptors over Twitter this week, posing such questions to fans as "Where should I go next season and why?" and, when that didn't exactly endear him to Toronto fans, a more polite "Should I stay or should I go?"
Disingenuous use of social media? Sure. But for Heat fans, the response was obvious and en masse: Come to Miami, they said. We'll have money, they said. Join Dwyane Wade, they said. Build something. Please. Help us. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY.
And they have gotten a little help, though not yet from Bosh. Thursday, when the star forward wrote he was thinking about buying an iPad, tennis star Andy Roddick offered to buy him one. With a catch:
"@chrisbosh play for the heat and i will buy you your ipad....... 3g version .... ha ha ... deal? can we get it in writing?"
That's right, coveted 2010 free agents of the NBA: world no. 8 Andy Roddick will personally save you between $629 and $829, plus tax, if you agree to make more than you've ever made by signing with the Heat.
And that's the upgraded iPad. Play your cards right, and you just might squeeze a set of earbuds or an iPod out of the man.
But first things first, so here's hoping that game of H.O.R.S.E. that Roddick played against Wade last month was followed by a clandestine trip to the Apple store. Preferably involving a forklift and moving truck.
Janie Campbell is a Florida native who believes in the pro-set and ballpark hot dogs. Her work has appeared in irreverent sports sites around the internet.