Sex isn't the only thing that you can't get in Club Madonna's version of the Champagne Room. You can also forget about the champagne or any other alcohol for that matter.
City commissioners voted unanimously not to allow SoBe's only strip club to have a liquor license, according to the Miami Herald, ensuring that the only virgins served up in the VIP will likely be the drinks.
City law prohibits any gentleman's club from selling alcohol, which takes away half the fun of going to a strip joint anyway, but more importantly for city officials, it keeps strip clubs from dominating the South Beach scene.
Club Madonna has braved the alcohol ban for years, but has mounted fights in the past. Lawsuits and petitions by the club owner have had as much success making the city commission move as a man with quarters in his pocket trying to get a lap dance.
Next time you're in Club Madonna, order a rum and coke, and hold the rum. Then use your imagination for more than that table dance.