|satisfaction or pleasure felt at someone else's misfortune.|
On This Week In Schadenfreude we explore the sputtering rage, gibbering condemnation, and resigned ennui of the college football fan who has recently undergone humiliating defeat. Because even in your darkest hour, someone else is suffering too, and probably worse than you. Unless you are a Michigan fan who has just finished watching the Appalachian State game.
Despite the author's proclivities, TWIS tries to remain balanced in its coverage of the misery inflicted on fans by the teams they love, and attempts to avoid spotlighting one team too heavily before the jump. The Tears of Unfathomable Sadness try to move around.
But, well... it's Notre Dame again, and with good reason. Notre Dame needed a win to get sucked up into the Gator or Cotton Bowls where they would be beaten into oblivion by someone like Texas Tech. Instead, they lose to a 2-8 team with a fired coach. Afterwards, David Bruton cries like a baby and even I, Michigan fan extraordinaire, feel sorry for the guy.
In the aftermath, people go on toaster-throwing fits of rage :
I want to pound my fingers through someone's skull, but I don't know whose. I want to break something, but I don't know what. I want to break into someone's home and take a dump in an inappropriate place, but I don't know whose house and whether to lay chocolate sausage in their fireplace or on their kitchen counter.
The Tears belong to whichever fanbase provides the most vicious burst of rage in the aftermath of humiliating defeat (and, every once in a while, humiliating victory). And, uh... yeah...
This season, I have attempted the following:
- Exercised feverishly, gone for a run and done push-ups. Result: short-term release, rest of weekend still ruined.
- Put on some Indigo Girls and ironed shirts. Result: even more angry and now slightly gender-confused
- Kicked a laundry basket down stairs and punched some pillows. Result: short-term release, and the futile sight of a laundry basket rolling down stairs just saddening.
- Slapped the hell out of a wall and pounded my foot. Result: A strange awakening to my own insanity. Appendage throbbing.
What is wrong with me?
What is wrong with them?
Notre Dame, they're yours.
The rest of the week in spleen after the jump.
This Week In Schadenfreude: Cue the Crying Leprechaun, Then Watch Him Explode originally appeared on Fanhouse NCAA Football Blog on Tue, 25 Nov 2008 14:52:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.