Hey, Ozzie Guillen is saying insane things again! Though, to be fair, his latest bit of chicanery is hard to call insane, seeing as there are quite a few fans who would likely join him in his preference. Baseball fans are funny that way.
What are we talking about? Oh right: Ozzie Guillen says he wants to die on the baseball field, in the middle of a game. Of course he does:
"I hope I die on the field," he says. "I hope when I walk to change the pitcher, I drop dead and that's it. I know my family would be so happy that it happened on the field. They wouldn't feel bad because that's what I've always wanted to do. You die on the field — good luck, get him out of here, next man."
Guillen goes on to say much crazier things than that. For example: How the national media doesn't understand him, because they don't see him kiss his players. Or: That there's no one in the world with more passion for the White Sox than him. Those may or may not be incorrect notions. That doesn't make them un-crazy.
But dying on the field? There are less popular notions. Baseball games have a peculiar peacefulness to them. The sun and the suntan lotion and the beer and the hot dogs and the way you can somehow be surrounded by 30,000 drunks and still be able to take a deep breath, relax, and enjoy the game. The pace of baseball feels like old age. That's why people love it so much. And we'd be willing to wager there are plenty of folks whose ideal death is analagous to Ozzie's: in the park, beer in one hand and scorecard in another. Good luck, get him out of here. Next man.
Eamonn Brennan is a writer, editor and blogger hunkered down in Lincoln Park. You can also read him at Yahoo! Sports, FanHouse, MOUTHPIECE Sports Blog, and Inside The Hall, or at his personal site, eamonnbrennan.com.