The human reality show that is Jose Canseco has surfaced again, and this time you could be part of the fun. No longer content to get his butt kicked by the likes of Danny Bonaduce, Canseco has decided to return to the boxing ring against the winner of an open tryout in Miami on May 3rd.
The winner will fight three one-minute rounds with Canseco in Fort Lauderdale on June 27th in a fight that will be broadcast on a pay-per-view basis on the internet. We'll pause for a moment so you can seek out the provider and order immediately, because we wouldn't want you to get shut out of such an event.
Unless, of course, you plan to do the fighting. Just be warned that signing up for a tryout will set you back $50, and that you'll be promoting a product called Smoking Everywhere, the creators of a product that "uses state of the art sophisticated micro-electronics to reproduce the experience of smoking a real cigarette without the ash, tar smoke and nearly 4,000 compounds found in a lit cigarette."
Give Canseco credit, he's figured out a sound business model. He's realized that there are a lot of people who would fork over $50 for a chance to punch him in the face. Yes, he was right about steroids in baseball, which has somehow made him more credible than 95% of people associated with the sport, but it hasn't made him that much less punch-worthy.
The next step is charging people $500 to actually punch him in the face. He'd clear $20,000 without breaking a sweat, even more if he was able to find a PPV home for the event.