Yes, I know dumb decisions are to be expected from someone who agreed to go on both The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, but this is just the latest one in a long line, so why not talk about it? Our long national nightmare of who's going to pretend to be Jillian Harris's fiancé for a while is finally over, and after a brief farce of a "surprise" appearance by Reid (which actually seemed to take all day to film, by the looks of the lack of daylight shining on them when she finally rejected him), Jillian picked E.D. Ed. Which is fine, I guess. I was rooting for Kiptyn, just because it feels nice to be on somebody's side and he seemed to be the lesser of two evils, but considering this show is the fakest thing in the history of television, it doesn't really matter who she chose in the end, of course.
But still, I'm baffled as to why she'd think it was in her best interest to choose Ed. Erectile dysfunction aside, rumors that the "job" he briefly left the show for was actually a girlfriend are rampant, and even if they weren't -- Jillian always said she and Ed didn't have much of a physical connection. Hell, he can't even look at her when he's speaking to her most of the time. At least Kiptyn can manage that. Ed's just so egregiously disingenuous. And I don't think she didn't choose Kiptyn or Reid just so one of them could be the next Bachelor -- I'm fairly certain that honor is going to go to "perfect" dreamboat Jake, who actually agreed to it unofficially during the reunion, a moment which was met with enthusiastic squeals by the nearly all-female audience. I'd be shocked if he didn't have it in the bag.
And why God, why is the finale two hours? It makes sense in the beginning when there are like 30 guys, but two hours of filler in between dumping two guys and getting fake engaged to one is excruciating. Chris Harrison's life is too short for this crap!
All in all, I give it three months. Your Jillian/Ed relationship longevity predictions?
For more from Television Without Pity:
Copyright Television Without Pity