Miami-Bound Melons Busted for Marijuana

Someone let the weed take over his melon patch.

By JANIE CAMPBELL

Updated 12:34 PM EST, Sun, Nov 22, 2009

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Yesterday, Florida Department of Transportation officials in Marion County arrested and charged a semitrailer driver at a weigh station on I-75 after finding more than 800 pounds of marijuana hidden in a load of cantaloupes he was hauling. The man, 31-year-old Richard Garfield Coulton of Orlando, was reportedly heading to Miami from Arizona.

Of course he was.

And of course Coulton told the Ocala Star-Banner that he didn't know anything about the marijuana.

Here's what we know: cantaloupes are just the latest in weird places authorities are finding drugs. What will smugglers think of next?

Would you believe "sharks" has already been taken. Back in June, the Mexican navy discovered more than a ton of cocaine stuffed into the bellies of frozen sharks presumably on their way to becoming soup or whatever it is sharks do when they're dead (besides threaten to become zombie sharks, a thought that terrifies us daily).

Also been there, done that -- at least twice -- is "diaper." A man in Phoenix was charged with stashing meth in his 2-year-old son's diaper, and one Michigan baby's gift from grandma was a little extra junk in the trunk during a bust.

Submarines? Everybody's doing it. In fact, after a sub carrying 10 tons of cocaine was intercepted off the coast of Guatemala, officials estimated that one-third of all cocaine entering the U.S. from South America arrives in a makeshift Red October.

Statues of Jesus made of drugs mixed with plaster are so 2008; Michael Douglas' son is just '80s. Kissing failed big-time, and now canteloupes are no longer a sure thing.

Perhaps they'll soon begin hiding drugs in drugs, a place so obvious no one will ever think of it.