Randal Pinkett, whom you may remember as the Season 4 winner of The Apprentice, is in contention to become the lieutenant governor of New Jersey. There's no doubt that he's well-educated and has done more than just kiss up to Donald Trump, but it still seems strange to us to have a reality contestant in an actual position of power. But since we've already detailed Danielle Staub's potential campaign for congresswoman, we've decided to continue down the rabbit hole to find other reality show winners who could serve in government. Winners only, because we don't need no stinkin' losers in charge.
Survivor's Bob Crowley
Position: Secretary of Education
This quiet physics teacher was able to outwit, outplay and outlast the competition, and looks sharp in a bowtie. We can imagine a president taking a liking to his laid-back Maine sensibilities and giving him a coveted cabinet position. He'd definitely focus on the importance of arts (and crafts) in the school system.
Amazing Race's Uchenna and Joyce Agu
Position: Co-Secretaries of State
Look, these two know how to schmooze people around the world. They respect other cultures, but aren't above persuading airlines to bend the rules. Clearly they love to travel as they did the show twice, and can cope with the overbearing personalities of Rob and Amber. They'd be awesome, but only as a package deal.
Big Brother's Dan Gheesling
Position: Congressperson for Michigan
He's been America's Player, so he's used to having constituents tell him what to do, and he was effective when given a task, even when it involved hugging that meathead Jessie. So he'd be willing to tackle the tough job, and he's a conservative Catholic School teacher, which could bode well with some voters.
Survivor's Yul Kwon
Position: U.S. Ambassador to the Cook Islands
He's already begun dipping his toes into political waters as the co-founder of the Asian Political Leadership Fund, so we'd like to see him in a diplomatic position. He's got some interesting ideas on strategy, which involve being upfront and honest about all secret items (like immunity idols), so we don't want him in a military position. But he does have people skills and seems to be all about breaking ties and disagreements in fair ways, and he's got the ability to win people over, so an ambassadorship would suit him well.
Big Brother's Will Kirby
Position: Surgeon General
We see smarmy Will sweet-talking the FDA into putting through some awesome plastic surgery drugs that will make Botox look blasé. And if Will did take any shady deals to recommend a particular medication that might actually kill you at a later date, he'd be upfront about it. This schemer would tell you straight to your face that taking a pill might kill you, but you'd look good while doing it. He's a natural born politician if we've ever seen one.
American Idol's Taylor Hicks
Position: Vice President
For some unimaginable reason, people really like this cheeseball, and his trademark salt-and-pepper hair lends him a bit of authority. We're not sure what his policies would be, so the second-in-command position would be his best bet. Plus, second is a spot he should have landed in the first place.
The Biggest Loser's Ali Vincent
Position: Secretary of Health and Human Services
Well, if Will does somehow become Surgeon General, we need someone to keep him in check just a smidge and Ali Vincent is our choice. She lost an insane amount of weight and would likely make it her personal mission to stop obesity in America. Jillian Michaels would naturally be named her assistant.
America's Next Top Model's Adrianne Curry
Position: Newly created cabinet post (see below for details)
Someone needs to help those poor child stars recapture their few minutes of fame, and we'd nominate Adrianne. She'd be the head of the Child Stars Protection Agency, which could later be expanded to cover reality stars who are desperate to cling to fame. She could pass legislation making sure that managers don't steal all their money and would broker trade agreements with VH1 to ensure that they'd always have employment.
For more Television Without Pity:
- The Worst People on Reality TV
- Celebs That Deserve Reality Shows
- Tubey Awards: Vote for TV's Best & Worst Reality
Copyright Television Without Pity