When it rains it pours.
Literally and figuratively, when talking about Miami. When it comes to thunderstorms, we don't mess around, and when it comes to reality television - well, we're just surprised it's taken this long for Hollywood (or wherever cheap programming is dreamt up) to figure out that our city has enough real-life drama to fill an entire station.
The Kardashians are in town filming their masterpiece, Bravo's embarrassment to humanity, Miami Social, will premiere next month, and, according to Scene in the Tropics, the Real Housewives series is in the process of rounding up its newest posse of Botoxed Betty Crockers for, you guessed it, the Real Housewives of Miami.
Only problem is, some of the mentioned participants aren't wives - or even women, for that matter.
There's PR maven Tara Solomon, who is engaged but hasn't said "I Do" yet; one-time Madonna gal pal Ingrid Casares, who is a lesbian - and, to our knowledge, never tied the knot in a commitment ceremony or otherwise - and Elaine Lancaster, Miami's drag queen extraordinaire.
But we're all for this unconventional Housewife crew, as maybe it will bring with it a little more than the usual sugardaddy divorce drama and country club cat fights. We're envisioning charity fundraisers at Mokai and tantrums that end in throwing decanters of bottle service Grey Goose instead of restaurant tables.
Of course, there are a few "straight arrows" being considered, including Lisa Pliner, wife of shoe designer Donald Pliner; Tracy Mourning, half of the perpetually do-good team that also includes former Heat player Alonzo Mourning; and some wife of an infectious disease doctor -- if that includes STDs, she's probably more loaded than all the other housewives combined.
And just like herpes, now with its five cities' worth of Ladies Who Liquid Lunch, Housewives seems to be the reality "gift" that keeps on giving.