Elizabeth Edwards: I Blamed Myself for His Cheating - NBC 6 South Florida

Elizabeth Edwards: I Blamed Myself for His Cheating

John Edwards' wife writes that she "begged" for fidelity

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    Elizabeth and John Edwards in happier times.

    Elizabeth Edwards briefly blamed herself for her husband's cheating and struggled with the notion that she somehow failed as a wife in the wake of former Sen. John Edwards' infidelity, she writes in her upcoming book.

    "How had I failed as a wife?” the cancer stricken wife of the disgraced politician writes in her memoir, Resilience: Reflections on the Burdens and Gifts of Facing Life’s Adversities -- excerpts of which were obtained by Radar Online.

    “I now felt thoroughly and publicly humiliated," she recalled, after her husband copped to the affair with videographer Rielle Hunter -- with whom the failed presidential candidate fathered a baby girl.

    In earlier excerpts, Elizabeth Edwards said her first reaction to the news that her husband stepped out on her was to to cry and scream and "I went to the bathroom and threw up."

    The mother of Edwards' four children also revealed that even when John Edwards first confessed, he lied by saying it was only a one-time thing.

    “I spent months learning to live with a single incidence of infidelity. And I would like to say that a single incidence is easy to overcome, but it is not. I am who I am. I am imperfect in a million ways, but I always thought I was the kind of woman, the kind of wife to whom a husband would be faithful. I had asked for fidelity, begged for it, really, when we married," she writes. “Leave me, if you must, but be faithful to me if you are with me.”

    The memoir is scheduled to hit book stores on May 12th.