Dish Of Salt: Top Ten TV Quotes Of The Week (1/23/09)
#10 — “Congratulations. The baby’s arm is sticking out. Why don’t you high five it?”
-- ABC’s “Desperate Housewives”
U.S. & World
Tom Scavo to wife Lynette (during a flashback) who has just secured a new job over the phone while she is in labor and Tom is trying to get her to the hospital.
# 9 — “When people are at war or their houses burn down, they might not be in the mood either. But it’s my job as a ‘journalist’ to be insensitive for entertainment purposes.”
-- NBC’s “Kath and Kim”
Kim Day to her mom, Kath, outside a crime scene (while making an audition tape to become a local news reporter) about reporting negative news stories.
#8 — “To put it into horse racing terms, imagine 22 horses and a donkey. You just wouldn’t stand a chance.”
-- FOX’s “American Idol”
Simon Cowell to contestant (and terrible singer) Tiffany Shedd during auditions at the famous Churchill Downs horse-racing track, home of the Kentucky Derby.
#7 — “I’ve got a lot going on. I’m super attractive. You don’t feel a connection with me? Like who do you think you are? God?”
-- ABC’s “The Bachelor”
Bachelorette Natalie’s classless rant alone in the limo after Jason doesn’t give her rose during their one-on-one date and sends her home.
#6 — “She is not going out looking like a ‘Hannah Montana’ meets a call girl!”
-- ABC’s “Brothers and Sisters”
Sarah Walker to her mom, Nora, who helped her 10-year-old daughter, Paige, pick out an outfit for a party she deems way too risqué.
#5 — '‘I need to wait for my moment, but then I’m going Black Ops, off the radar, no accountability. This war I’m going to win!’’
-- CW’s “Gossip Girl”
Blair to her maid, Dorota, after being told by the Headmistress at her school that she was given detention and her Yale acceptance was put on notice.
#4 — “Psst, Barack. He’s right behind you!”
-- Comedy Central’s “The Daily Show With Jon Stewart”
Jon Stewart, during his Changefest ’09 special, as he comments on President Obama’s swearing in speech, which includes some indirect knocks on the outgoing President George W Bush.
#3 — “This afternoon Barack Obama was sworn in on the same bible that Abraham Lincoln used, as opposed to Joe Biden who was sworn in on the Hogwart’s spell book.”
-- Comedy Central’s “The Colbert Report”
Stephen Colbert on the enormously large book used to swear in Vice President Joe Biden.
#2 — “Your camp isn’t gone. It hasn’t been built yet.”
-- ABC’s “Lost”
Daniel Faraday to Sawyer and Juliet explaining that the Island has moved back in time (as it’s finally revealed that the Island is some sort of portal for time travel).
#1 — “First of all. How good looking is my wife!?”
-- CNN, FOX, MSNBC Inauguration Coverage
President Obama’s opening remark to the crowd gathered at the Neighborhood Ball, the first of 10 inaugural balls he and the new First Lady, Michelle Obama, attended.
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