Just when you thought you were done with these sorts of word problems: if a batter leaves Miami with a .02 head start in a race, and a batter leaves St. Louis traveling twice as fast, who will get to glory first?
That's the question that faces Hanley Ramirez and Albert Pujols as the star Marlin stands in the way of the Cardinal's bid to become the first National League Triple Crown winner in 72 years.
Ramirez leads for the batting title with an average of .348, and at this late point in the season it becomes very difficult to budge an average.
But Pujols, in second with a .328, has more than twice as many at-bats as Ramirez to look forward to between now and season's close. He also heats up in August and September, historically replacing a pre-All Star Break average of .327 with one of .344 in the second half stretch.
That's a serious threat to Ramirez, who's hoping to enjoy his first title, and let's face it, needs something to live for now that the Marlins are all but dead in the water behind Philadelphia. HanRam has long enjoyed hot Septembers (.341) but not-so-hot Augusts (.305).
Of course, no one thinks Ramirez holds a candle to the two-time MVP at the plate -- they think he's been able to make more from less thanks to speedy legs the heftier Pujols doesn't have.
"I think Hanley's got a really good chance to win it,'' outfielder Cody Ross told the Herald. "Not so much that he's a better hitter, because I think Albert is probably the best hitter. But Hanley has the speed factor that Albert doesn't.''
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But as Ramirez said, "There's 70 games left. Too many games."
His only real hope might be that Pujols pulls up lame, and like other Triple Crown contenders, gets put down in a barn.
Janie Campbell loves ballpark hotdogs, Friday night lights, and little Marlin gremlins gummin' up the works for Albert Pujols. Her work has appeared in irreverent sports sites around the Internet.
