Hero Themester Challenges Buffett to Dolphins Song Duel

Local man speaks for all, says his Fins theme is better than Jimmy Buffett's recycled cheese

Out of the teeming massess of humanity horrified by the rebranding of Dolphins Stadium your champion has finally risen, South Florida. 

And he is one angry man.

Miami Gardens resident Lionel Lightbourne has been a Dolphins fan since he was one year old. One!  He even wrote a theme song!  And now that Jimmy Buffett's re-tailored song "Fins" threatens to challenge the already uninspiring fight song "Miami Dolphins No. 1" for airtime at Land Shark Stadium, he is not going to take the disrespect lying down.

"A good song should not be determined by the person's name but by how good the music is," Lightbourne told Miami New Times. "I felt unappreciated. So I'm calling Buffett out."

Yes!  It's not the Beasley-Spoelstra dance-off we've been craving, but it'll do.

Back in 2002, Lightbourne, his wife, and their six children spent 10 hours in a studio recording a song they call "Dol-Phans 4 Life." It wasn't bad -- in fact, the family entered a Super Bowl contest sponsored by Doritos and beat every challenger they faced. The song is now played on radio broadcasts of games, and everyone was pleased. 

Until Jimmy Buffett got his grubby mitts on the stadium name, that is, and recycled his old song "Fins" to include silly throwaway lines like "high-fives fill the breeze" and "we're entering the FinZone."  Not exactly the Miami-appropriate urban style the Lightbournes favored, or up to their (or anyone's, really) standards.  

"People love our song. We've proved it," Lightbourne said. "It's time for the Fins to respect that."

While we wonder why no one's clamoring for a return single from Corey and Fins, Lightbourne's grassroots campaign against Buffett's tune is picking up steam.  The Dolphins declined to host an official song-off, for obvious contractual reasons, but Miami New Times is unafraid to host a throwdown.  In fact, they'd like fans to chime in by listening to both songs and choosing a favorite

Friends, Miamians, countrymen: lend them your ears.  If it saves us just one extra play of "Fins," it was worth it all.

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