Tipsy Jerry Jones: “Parcells Isn’t Worth ”

Jerry Jones: now a billion times more likable. And hopefully wrong.

55071921
Getty Images

You know what they say: in vino veritas, and there's always someone with a video phone behind a plant or something.

Maybe Jerry Jones is just too old to know this -- or care -- because a video in which the Cowboys owner slurs thoughts about Tim Tebow and the Dolphins' Executive VP of Football Operations Bill Parcells cropped up on Deadspin yesterday. It isn't pretty (or safe for delicate ears), but it sure is awesome. 

Oh, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry.

Here's the transcript, via Shutdown Corner:

Jerry Jones: Romo was a miracle.

Fan: It was a miracle, wasn't it?

Jerry: He almost never got in, and he almost was gone. Tebow would never hit the field.

Fan: What if you were the Jaguars owner? Would you just, just draft him to sell (expletive)in' jerseys?

Jerry: That's the only reason I brought in Bill Parcells. (inaudible). Bill's not worth a [poo poo expletive]. I love him ...

Fan: Yeah, I know you do.

Jerry: He's not worth a [expletive], but I wanted a — they were on my [expletive] so bad. J's gotta have a yes man. So to get this [expletive]in' stadium, I needed to bring his [expletive] in.

Fan: What, you, you wouldn't take Tebow in the third round?

Jerry: Why? He'd never get on the field. I can't get him out there. I can't get him out there.

So, to recap, Tebow's not going to Dallas (not that we care) and Jones only hired Parcells because it made fans feel good and helped Jones get his bazillion-dollar cage-dancing arena built.

We've been wondering, actually, if Parcells' failures with the Dolphins so far might indicate that he isn't what he once was, and this isn't helping. But we should probably remind ourselves at this point that Jerry Jones once purposefully drafted Quincy Carter, so what does he know?

The great thing about the video is that Sober Jerry might never say these things, and it's always insightful to hear what owners think. We'd follow Stephen Ross around with a camera, but his drunken ramblings probably just consist of practice ownership pitches to Philip Michael Thomas or random ex-members of Menudo.

Contact Us