Casting Calls For Magic City's Cold Feet

To be fair, Miami no-shows are more interesting than Miami Social.

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    NEWSLETTERS

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    It's hard to tell if Miami is late to the Humiliating Reality Show Ball or a pioneer pushing the next wave of cringe-inducing television.

    Perhaps that's because the same people who brought us Miami Social and Brooke Knows Best, among other Magic City-centric unwatchables, are now casting for a new series called "Left at the Altar" -- a show that aims to exploit explore the moment that emotionally crippled its cast for life, leaving each of them an empty shell ripe for years of therapy.

    (No, weirdos, you can't count Nick Saban leaving the Dolphins!)

    Locally-run Beach Pictures and Pink Sneakers Productions are looking for both jilted and jiltee alike. So, if you were abandoned on the beach and want to rage about your intended on national television, this is your chance to wind up crying in a thousand viral YouTube clips.

    If you did the running, and survived doing it in this heat, the camera's all yours!

    If you're that crazy lady in Georgia who faked a kidnapping and took a bus to New Mexico, well, I think we've had enough of you.

    There's no word on when filming for the series will start. But it's run by the same production team that's trying to jump-start that classy Chonga-centric Real World clone, so if 80 pounds of shellacked fury asks you to wait your turn we suggest you obey.