Demetri Martin was in Boston last night to promote his brand new book—that he titled in his trademark state-the-obvious style, This Is a Book—with a free reading at the Harvard Co-op. Of course, the store was swarmed, but we managed to talk the comedian into joining us in a closet for a quick interview. Rather than doing the whole seven minutes in heaven thing, we opted instead to ask him our seven famous questions. Find out what makes Martin mad, and what amazing ideas he really should have had first, in the video above.
What do you crave most?
Alone time in closets with books. This is perfect.
Do you know your limits?
In certain areas I do. Like, running. I'm out of shape, so I can do about five to six minutes of full running, then I'm going down. That's probably in an emergency situation. For fun, it would be less.
What wont you share?
I probably wont share… when I have children I probably want to keep them to myself until they're old enough, then I would share them.
What makes you angry?
I guess it depends on my mood. I don't like tough guys that much. Like when a tough guy crosses the street a lot of times they walk really slow on purpose, like the outfit wasn't enough, you know, so they also have to make you wait. It's like they're looking for a fight.
If you were going to win a medal tomorrow, what would it be for?
I think I would win a medal for being able to eat the same food over and over again for the longest. I'm a creature of habit, so if they give medals for that, it would probably be that. And the medal would probably be in the shape of a Caprese sandwich.
What great idea should have been yours?
There are a lot of ideas that when I see them make me think "that should have been mine." The internet is kind of a bummer that way. Democracy—I am Greek, so I think it's just a matter of timing. I was just born a little bit late. It's kind of a shared idea maybe, because that's how I would do government and stuff.
What has been on your to-do list for the longest time?
The words "To Do" with one or two lines under them. Depending on how much I want to do it, I might give it a double underline. But I always title it in case I forget what the list of things that I'm holding everyday that's kind of wrinkled is about. I guess it's actually good that I put "To Do" on it, because for a comedian, it could be a set list. It could be a list of jokes to tell on stage, or it could be a list of things to do, so I have to look. If there are boxes next to it then that's a to do list. If there are lines through a lot of them then that's a setlist, because that means those jokes didn't work.
Sin City is The Feast's signature interview series, wherein we get to know the city's characters in a biblical sense, by asking them seven very serious questions.
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