Six years might as well be six months for the victims.
A young man armed with an AR-15 walked into Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School on Feb. 14, 2018, murdered 17 people and wounded 17 more.
Manuel and Patricia Oliver, like all the other families who lost loved ones, say the pain of missing their son, Joaquin, is ever-present, and it only gets worse as Feb. 14 approaches.
So they throw themselves into their activism. They founded the Change the Ref foundation to advocate for gun safety policies, saying every day is an opportunity to honor their son’s memory.
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“Six years and the pain is the same,” Manuel Oliver said.
“It seems that we’re doing something good, we’re waking up a lot of people,” Patricia Oliver added.
Parkland School Tragedy
The last time the Olivers were in the news, they were embarking on a 50-day tour of the country to meet with other victims of gun violence last summer.
“That was a great experience, we met with a lot of families that had suffered the same tragedies, and we exchanged thoughts, we exchanged support and we understand better that this is not a local problem,” Manuel said.
No, gun violence is a national problem, which is why the Olivers have taken their efforts nationwide with their non-profit organization, Change the Ref.
In 2022, Manuel shouted at President Joe Biden during a White House ceremony for the Safer Communities Act and had to be escorted out. Oliver felt the bipartisan gun safety legislation didn’t go far enough.
His trips to Washington D.C. are usually memorable. He was arrested for climbing atop a crane to draw attention to gun violence, and both he and Patricia were once tossed out of a congressional hearing.
“Joaquin is the fuel, Joaquin is my inspiration,” Patricia said to me Monday, discussing her motivation for activism.
Joaquin’s absence is also the source of intense pain, especially as we approach Feb. 14, when it becomes physical, not just emotional.
“Maybe you don’t sleep well, or you don’t eat the same way you’re eating, your appetite changes, you’re down,” Patricia explained, saying her body always seems to know when the date is getting near. “I always ask Joaquin if he can show up in my dreams, you know I want to see Joaquin in a way, I want to listen to Joaquin in a way, I pray for that.”
Manuel said he tries not to think too much about what Joaquin would be doing now, but the thoughts creep in, and it’s devastating.
“You don’t only miss your little kid, what about the 23-year-old, the 24, the 30-year-old guy that I will never meet? So it’s always punishing you, it’s always hurting you,” Manuel said. “I wish I would’ve been able to watch the Super Bowl with my son, not alone, in the same way that I wish that, I wish a hundred things on a daily basis, but that’s not the reality, so I need to find ways to honor my son and then I can feel that I’m doing something as a father.”
Like so many of families who lost loved ones in the massacre, the Olivers have spent six years turning grief into action, saying they feel they’ve made progress in raising awareness about gun violence issues and by inspiring others to get involved. They’re not done by a long shot. The Olivers have a big event planned for Wednesday to announce their next initiative. It involves a high-tech approach but beyond that, the details are embargoed until the 14th.
The event, by the way, takes place in Washington D.C.
